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Signs for everyone including the weak, sick and gravid Vast numbers of readers wrote in to share their
favorite Asian signpost. Clearly most of us go traveling around Asia not
to visit beaches and historic monuments, but to snap pictures of signs
which say: "Please Do Not Take Explosives into this Toilet."
Some of the signs sent in were rather worrying, such as the hotel in
Vietnam which told guests: "No sex or fighting." What about
married couples? Isn't this what we do? Isn't this what marriage is all
about?
Several readers made the point that some signs that look like spelling
mistakes are deliberate. They are "tongue-in-cheek, making use of and
subverting the idea that we're poor at English," said a reader named
Sharanya. "The `Broken English Spoken Perfectly Here' is quite a
giveaway."
Reader Steve Dore was also suspicious of that sign. He said:
"Surely it should have said: `Broken English Speaked Good
Here?"'
Meanwhile, reader Gerry Marques saw a sign in Hong Kong which said:
"Be alert to pickpockets. Do not leave your personal belongings
unattended." He said: "There was nothing odd about the sign,
except for its location: at the entrance to Rosary Church."
In the same city, reader Fred Gray noticed the trams all had signs
saying: "Do not lean out of window." He said: "I would love
to see this changed to `Man who lean out of tram window need head
examined."'
Another sign that caught Fred's eye was a "Mind Your Head"
sign positioned three meters above the ground. Since the world's tallest
man is about 2.5m, the sign seemed a bit unnecessary.
Actually, Hong Kong has many useless signs. I recall one that used to
hang near a motorway, saying: "Drivers who collide with this pylon
should beware."
Some Asian signs are wonderfully thought- provoking. The slogan for
Chellerams, an Indian shop, is "All Require Men, is Under One
Roof."
Going back to our point that Asian English is more memorable than
traditional English, reader Nonie Eu sent in a photograph of a sign from
China which said: "Offer Seats to the Old, Weak, Sick, Crippled and
Gravid."
Who's Gravid? No, not some fellow with weak knees. It's an old word for
"pregnant," and when I say old, I mean it would have been
archaic in any newspaper printed since the late Jurassic period.
Nonie (who is a Chinese TV presenter) also sent in a photo of a rather
poignant sign on a wall in China. It said: "Dying right here is
strictly prohibited." Sadly, people in that condition don't have a
lot of choice.
Reader Mei Hardwick sent in a photograph of a signpost stuck into the
ground at a park in Beijing. It says: "No dabbling." It's not
clear what you may be tempted to dabble in, nor why you shouldn't. Perhaps
it's just a general piece of philosophical advice, in which case I approve
wholeheartedly.
Meanwhile, many thanks to several readers who sent in a photograph of a
sign at the check- in desk of China Eastern Airlines: "Please check
in animals and alcoholics."
So that's the bad news. Not only does my dog have to go in a cage in
the luggage compartment, but so does my Uncle Joseph. 2008-04-26 |
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